Short Untitled Collection of Absurd Stories - eBook

Strap down and prepare for a wild ride through (MEP)’s twisted and unpredictable world.

In this collection of short stories, readers will be transported to a dark and chaotic reality where anything is possible.

Meet a cast of characters that will both shock and delight you, from violent children to ambitious career builders, police officers to freaks. But be warned, no one is safe from the dangers and absurdities of this world.

With each turn of the page, you'll find yourself drawn deeper into these twisted tales, wondering what shocking revelation or bizarre encounter awaits you next.

Don't wait any longer, join the growing revolution of readers who dare to challenge the norm and grab your copy of Short Untitled Collection of Absurd Stories now!

Excerpt:

The Night Mrs. Reyes Screamed

The screaming started last night. A woman’s scream. From sunset to sunrise. The people in the apartment building had no idea where it was coming from. Some thought a woman was being attacked outside their window. Some believed it was coming from the building. It was coming from the building. The screaming came from apartment 13C. Mrs. Reyes lived in it. She was old and single. She had no cats.

A few of the neighbors knocked on her door. Mrs. Reyes could be dying. Someone could be attacking Mrs. Reyes. Mrs. Reyes only screamed. The neighbors called the police.

Four hours later, two officers went to apartment 13C and knocked on the door.

“Mrs. Reyes?” an officer asked. “Are you okay?”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The officers shrugged. Mrs. Reyes was alive so she must be fine. They left the building.

The next night, all the neighbors in the building awaited bedtime. They all had rotten days at their jobs. Some fell asleep at their desks or on the company toilet. They planned to go to bed early and skip their post-reality television program.

The sun went down at 7:34 PM.

Mrs. Reyes screamed.

All night.

“We have to do something,” Mr. Smith said.

“I can’t take another night of this,” said Mr. Jones.

“She’s doing it on purpose,” said Mrs. Thompson.

“What do you mean?” Mr. Jones asked.

“You know how those people are,” said Mrs. Thompson. “They are always so loud. It’s their culture.”

“What if she’s sick?” Mr. Smith asked.

“If she’s sick, she should be in the hospital,” said Mr. Jones.

The neighbors gathered around the door of apartment 13C. They pounded on it and demanded that Mrs. Reyes stop screaming.

“We have work in the morning!”

“I have bags under my eyes!”

“My head is going to explode!”

Mrs. Reyes continued to scream.

“Should we call the cops again?”

“They won’t do anything. We’re on our own.”

The men broke down the door. The neighbors entered the apartment. Mrs. Reyes sat on her couch. She wore a bathrobe over her nightgown. Her hands were on her lap. Her eyes stared at the television turned off. She screamed.

The neighbors covered their ears. The screaming was the loudest they ever heard. They shouted for Mrs. Reyes to stop. Mr. Jones grabbed her shoulders and shook her, almost breaking Mrs. Reyes’s neck. Mrs. Reyes screamed. Mr. Jones punched her in the face. Mrs. Reyes screamed. Mrs. Thompson stomped her stomach. Mrs. Reyes screamed. All the neighbors grabbed something from the apartment - a chair, a table leg, a hammer - and beat Mrs. Reyes.

When they were done, Mrs. Reyes’s head was a pulpy, bloody mess with no teeth. Mrs. Reyes screamed. Maybe stronger. The neighbors were exhausted. They went back to their apartments. Some of them were so exerted from the beat down that they fell asleep.

They all had rotten days the next morning, often crying.

The next month, Mrs. Reyes continued to scream from sunset to sunrise. No one went to her apartment or called the police. Neighbors tried to soundproof their bedrooms or weep themselves to sleep.

Unable to function during the days, the neighbors lost their jobs and remained at home. It seemed like a good idea. They could sleep all day and collect unemployment. But they couldn’t fall asleep. The neighbors were so frustrated that they screamed from sunrise to sunset. At sunset, Mrs. Reyes screamed until sunrise. The building screamed twenty-four hours a day for a month.

The screaming building disturbed the neighborhood. Police raided it. They beat down all the screaming residents during the day. The neighbors screamed. The cops went home exhausted and unsatisfied.

Neighborhood politicians passed laws to stop the screaming and fined the landlord. The screaming didn’t stop. Residents of neighboring apartment buildings and houses screamed. No one was able to work or sleep. The residents of the city screamed day and night.

The state soon fell into a recession. Unemployment went up. The governor felt there was only one thing left to do. By then I moved out of state and never found out what happened.